


On and Off Again

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Ritalin, Ritalin Addiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 01:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9298658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry ;)





	

You thought this was over.

Years ago, in college, you had been addicted to Ritalin. Late nights and pages upon pages of papers required focus and attention that you just didn’t have at the time. One of your friends said she’d been using a pill to increase her productivity and it was working wonders for her; she asked if you wanted to try. 

And that was the end of that.

All through college, when ironically you were studying to be a doctor, you used Ritalin, a stimulant that increases the levels of dopamine reaching neuron receptors in the brain; it helped you to concentrate and be more alert. Every time you needed to study the night away, you popped the pills in order to focus - and miraculously you survived med school, internship and residency and were now a doctor. 

Although you’d only started out using the pills infrequently, throughout college, you started using them more and more, getting headaches, horrible bouts of anxiety and confusion, and barely wanting to eat. You knew you needed to stop. As a doctor-in-training (at the time), you knew you were experiencing the side effects of addiction, so you stopped. You didn’t need them anymore anyway. It had been hard, but you did it.

More than five years later, you were an accomplished doctor at the local DC hospital and were on the pills again. Recently, you’d been completely overwhelmed at work, being pulled in all different directions on a near-constant basis, and you’d been cheated on by your boyfriend of over a year. You started to spiral, unable to handle the mix of depression of being overwhelmed at work, and had decided to use a pill on occasion to get you up and moving. Occasionally, you would get headaches and not feel like eating, but you attributed it to your hectic work schedule.

One day, your ex-boyfriend, Spencer Reid, invited you over for dinner. Although you weren’t together anymore, you had managed to stay friends. The only reason your relationship hadn’t worked was because of your work schedules; they never allowed you to be together. There was absolutely no animosity between you.

It was one of your few nights off from the hospital, so you headed over even though you were tired, popping a pill to make sure you could spend some quality time with your friend. Immediately, you felt better. Once at his apartment, you walked upstairs, greeting your friend with an enormous hug; you’d missed his company.

“You okay?” he asked, seeing your strained face.

“Just a headache,” you replied, rubbing your temple to try and ease the pain. “It’ll go away soon hopefully.”

He nodded, saying he hoped you’d feel better and asked if you wanted some meatloaf and strignbeans, which are what he had made for dinner. “Just a small slice,” you said, not really feeling the desire to eat. Over the past few months, you’d lost quite a few pounds; it wasn’t healthy - you knew it.

Slowly, you picked at your food as you and Spencer finally had time to catch up. For him, work was work; catching serial killers was what he did best. You talked about how much more hectic the hospital had gotten when all of a sudden something caught your eye. You didn’t say anything, but you looked in the corner of Spencer’s apartment, thinking you’d seen a shadow of some kind. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “You’re distracted, you have a headache, you’re barely eating and you looked like you just saw something that definitely wasn’t there. I know what that equals, especially knowing your background.” You looked down at the table, knowing he knew, but not wanting to admit it. “You’re on the Ritalin again, aren’t you?”

“I need it, Spence,” you replied softly, twiddling your thumbs together as you spoke. “I can’t focus at work without it and after the whole thing with Connor…I just can’t.”

“You need to get off it, you know that, right?” he said, pulling his chair over to your side of the table. “You know it’s not good for your health and it’s not going to make any of your problems go away.”

“I know,” you said, looking up into his eyes through a veil of tears.

With a sigh, he pulled your head into his chest. “I’ll help you. I can recommend a good therapist, so you can talk about that asshole and you can text me anytime you feel like you need to pop a pill. I know how hard it is to quit, but you are absolutely strong enough to do it - and you need to.”

“I know I do,” you replied, taking your arms from your sides and wrapping them around him. “Thanks for being such a good friend, especially right now.”

“No problem. I love you, you know.” He motioned for your bag and you knew he wanted to pills, so you took out the bottle and handed them to him so he could dispose of them correctly.

“You might want to come over and take them from my apartment,” you said honestly. “I still have quite a few bottles.”

He stood up from the table. “I will, but first, how about we sit on the couch and do nothing for a little bit. You need some time to relax.”

Taking a deep breath, you leaned into him again. “That sounds amazing…and thank you again…I don’t know what I’d do without you.”


End file.
